(OPENING THEME PLAYING)
(RIBBITING)
(BEEPING)
(SNIFFING) Ah!
The great outdoors!
What's so great about it?
We're sleeping on rocks!
Rocks!
And all there is to eat
is beef jerky. Blah!
And there are no toilets.
I am still the confused
as to why we are sleeping
out of the doors!
Is the Tower broken?
No! We're out here because
camping is fun!
Hiking, making s'mores,
campfires...
BEAST BOY: Mosquito bites.
CYBORG: Wild animal attacks.
STARFIRE: The body odors.
Can we go home?
No! You are having
too much fun!
Fine! Let's just watch
some TV.
Where are you going to
plug in a TV?
He's right! I don't see
any outlets!
You mean... No TV?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
We don't need TV
to entertain us!
That's what scary campfire
stories are for.
Huh! That could be fun.
You think my idea
could be fun?
Sure! Why not?
And you're going to do it,
and I don't have to
scream at anyone?
It sounds the delightful.
(PANTING) Keep it together,
Robin. Don't blow this.
For once they're all excited.
Hmm, not me.
I still want to go home.
Three out of four!
I'll take it!
Who wants to go first?
I do!
I gots a super scary story!
I just hope you all brought
a change of underpants.
BEAST BOY: So, there was
this lumberjack dude who was
lost in the woods
and all walking around
in circles like a fool.
He was like, "Man, I'm crazy
lost and walking around
in circles like a fool."
But then he found a cabin,
and he was all like, "Cool.
I'm gonna just chill in here."
But what he didn't know
is that some other lumberjack
dude said it was haunted.
That place is so haunted.
(THUNDERING)
BEAST BOY: So the lumberjack
dude was all chilling
when he heard it!
Some creepy voice...
(IN CREEPY VOICE)
I got you where I want you.
Now I'm gonna eat you.
The lumberjack dude, well,
he's been around the block
a few times
and isn't that scared by it,
so he starts chilling again!
But the creepy voice
started again, only louder!
(IN CREEPY VOICE)
I got you where I want you!
Now I'm gonna eat you!
(HOWLING) This lumberjack dude
is getting creeped out.
He's all like, "I need to
find out where that creepy
voice is coming from!"
(IN CREEPY VOICE) (ECHOING)
I got you where I want you.
Now I'm gonna eat you.
He accidently finds
this secret hidden room.
Crazy spooky! (GASPS)
The lumberjack dude was like,
"I'mma go into that
creepy hidden room, yo!"
-(FLOORBOARDS CREAKING)
-It was completely empty,
except for this weird,
spooky tiny stage.
He pulled the curtain back
and you know what he saw?
A crazy little monkey with a
booger on his finger saying,
"I got you where I want you.
Now I'm gonna eat you!"
(SCREECHING)
(ALL GROANING)
CYBORG: Aw, really?
STARFIRE: That was
the disgusting.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, I got you so good!
You should see your faces!
BEAST BOY: Oh!
That's for telling a story
about a booger!
Seriously, can we go home now?
First, I wish to attempt the
telling of the spooky story.
On a scary day,
the friends were having
the good friend times.
And doing the
regular friend things,
until the spooky ghost man
came from his grave,
and scared everyone!
(IN DEEP VOICE)
I am the spooky ghost man,
and I am haunting you!
(SHRIEKING)
The friends narrowly escaped!
The spooky ghost man
was very scary,
but they were safe from his
hauntings in the bushy bush.
They all breathed
the breath of relief,
until they realized
the ghost had their ball!
(SING-SONGY) Dun-dun-dun.
Pew, pew, pew!
Thunders, thunders,
lightnings!
"What should we do?"
they cried!
If we do not have the ball,
we cannot play the catch!
(SCREAMING)
Pew!
Then the spooky
ghost man returned,
and he said, "I'm sorry
I scared you.
"I am the socially awkward!"
He was very sorry
about scaring everyone,
and brought the ball
for the friends,
so they could all enjoy
playing the catch together.
Oh! And there were also
two wolfmans!
Woof! Woof woof! Woof! Woof!
(HOWLING)
(ROBIN SCREAMING)
(LAUGHS) It seems I have
succeeded in the telling of
the spooky story!
Nah, that's just Robin getting
mauled by a bear.
-(GROWLING)
-The bear is eating me!
He is eating me!
Huh, he must have
smelled the s'mores.
(SCREAMING)
Can we just go home?
Nope! 'Cause it's my turn
for a scary story!
CYBORG: I was out one night
taking a relaxing night drive,
eating some peanuts,
you know, got some of that
good music going,
when suddenly,
there's a breaking
news report on the radio.
ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this
broadcast to report an escaped
mental patient on the loose.
He is dangerous, and
he has a hook for a hand.
Police recommend
you stay inside and
lock all doors and windows.
CYBORG: So I'm eating my nuts,
and I hear this report,
you know, and I say, "Nuh-uh!"
And I flip my car around
and go home.
I'm not about to be driving
around at night when there's
crazy pants hook-hand dude
creeping around
in the bushes. No way!
So later that night,
I'm at home, you know,
doors locked, eating some
peanuts, got some of that good
music going, and suddenly...
-(RINGING)
-(IMITATING PHONE RINGING)
So I pick it up!
-What up, what up?
-But there's no one
on the line.
So I listen closer,
and I hear...
(HEAVY BREATHING)
I hang up, and I think,
I should just ignore
this prank caller.
Then I say, "Nuh-uh!",
and I call the police,
demand they come over
to the Tower, and investigate.
And it's a good thing I did.
There was some creepy prowler
calling from inside the house!
They arrested him, of course.
I had to go to the police
station and ID him,
testify against him
in a court of law.
It was a whole process, man,
but the system worked!
-And he's gonna be in jail
for a very long time.
-(WEEPING)
Point being, you can never
be too careful.
There's a lot of crazies
out there. Hoo, doggie!
(SCOFFS) That wasn't scary
at all, Cyborg.
(YAWNS) It has given me
the sleepies.
So disappointed, brah.
What can I say?
I'm a very cautious person.
Okay. Well then,
time to go home.
-Don't you want to hear
my scary story?
-Absolutely not.
Great! And what makes
my story extra scary
is that it's all true.
(GULPS)
ROBIN: It was a dark
and stormy night,
and I forgot my umbrella.
So I got completely soaked.
It was terrible!
The hair I spent hours on,
ruined!
Normally, this would be
a big deal by itself,
but tonight, I had a date
with a real girl.
In your face, everybody who
said it would never happen!
-(LAUGHS)
-I had purposely
shown up late
because I didn't want to be
the first one to arrive.
But there was no sign of her.
I started to get nervous.
Did I look like a loser
sitting there all alone?
-(PEOPLE WHISPERING)
-Was everyone thinking I was
eating yet another meal
all by myself?
So what if I like to
eat by myself?
Robin, party of one?
More like, Robin,
party of fun!
With what felt like a million
beady eyes staring at me,
I had to get out of there.
I was starting to sweat.
So I tried to cool off.
Instead, I splashed water
all over my pants!
Everyone was
going to think I peed myself!
But it was water, just water!
Sure, it looks like pee,
but it's not! It was water!
I didn't pee myself!
I haven't done that
in a very long time.
(SIGHS)
I tried to stay calm, but
that's when I heard the
scariest sound ever.
(GURGLING)
ROBIN: It was my stomach!
I decided to order, and also
eat the box of chocolates
I'd brought for my date.
She never came.
But the check did.
I'd assumed my date would be
paying for the meal,
so I didn't bring my wallet.
(GASPS) Not knowing
what to do, I ran and ran
and ran and ran,
and never stopped running!
And it's all true.
(SIGHS)
You are a sad little man,
aren't you?
Yes, I am.
(GROWLING)
Well, that was terrifying.
Now can we go home?
Not until you have told
the scary story, Raven.
You want a scary story? Sure.
RAVEN: Once upon a time,
a creature of darkness crawled
into the world.
The light hurt her eyes, so
she shut all but two of them.
To hide herself from
the light, she wrapped herself
in a cloak of darkness.
The lady in the cloak
made friends.
A man made of tin. A princess.
A hyena.
And a tiny, tiny little elf.
Together they did noble deeds,
and for a time the lady in the
cloak lived as one of them.
Over time she grew weary.
"Booyah!" yelled the tin man.
"Train! Pay attention!
Mandatory meetings!"
screeched the tiny,
tiny little elf.
The hyena laughed and laughed,
and the princess, well,
she was cool.
But every day,
they grew louder,
and louder, and louder!
Until one night
she snapped!
Throwing aside her cloak, they
saw she was a monster that had
been hiding among them.
Her fingers became claws,
her teeth, razors.
She opened all of
her hideous eyes.
Then, fast as a serpent,
she ate them!
One by one.
What, uh...
What happened to the monster?
Nothing.
Because I'm the monster!
-(SCREAMING)
-(ROARING)
Retreat to the Tower!
Retreat!
(SCREAMING)
So... We're going home? Cool.
(LAUGHS) I love
campfire stories.
I call this
H.I.V.E meeting to order.
Now, it's no secret that
we've had a rough time.
The Titans
are everywhere we turn,
thwarting our schemes,
ruining our lives.
But not for much longer,
because my latest plan...
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
One sec. Hello?
(IN SILLY VOICE)
Hello, is Fred there?
Sorry, you got
the wrong number.
As I was saying,
we will no longer
be at the mercy of the Titans.
Thanks to my latest plan...
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-(GROANING) Hello?
(IN SILLY VOICE)
Hi, I am calling for the Fred.
Is he in?
Wrong number!
The era of the Teen Titans
will come to an end,
-thanks to my latest plan...
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(GROANING) Who is it?
(IN SILLY VOICE)
Good afternoon, sir.
Can I talk to Fred?
(GROANING)
There's no Fred here!
(GROANING)
-My latest plan...
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-What?
-Yo, yo, yo! This be Fred.
Anyone call for me?
(ALL LAUGHING)
(CYBORG LAUGHING)
(SCREAMING)
The Titans?
(GROANING) I hate those guys!
So let's hear your latest plan
to crush 'em.
You know what? Forget it.
I can't deal with
those jerks today.
I have a new plan.
Let's take the day off.
How about instead, we launch
a swarm of jerk-seeking
murder missiles?
No.
Could retrain and release
a vicious pack of
jerk-seeking murder dogs?
No.
Spray the city with
jerk-seeking murder fog?
No! What we need
is a quiet day
of rest and relaxation.
I get it.
Rest, relax, let the Titans
think we've gone soft
and then, boom!
We hit them with
the murder missiles!
(ALL CHUCKLING)
Yes, sir, jim-dandy!
That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah, yeah!
No murder missiles.
It's a day off.
No chaos, no crime.
Just enjoy yourselves,
and if you see the Titans
do not engage.
What if they see us?
Do not engage.
What if we see each other
at the same time?
I said, "Do not engage."
We can't let them upset us!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello!
Oh, yes, hello.
Do you have any olive oil
in the house?
-Olive oil?
-Well, you better let her go
before Popeye gets mad.
-Boom!
-(ALL LAUGHING)
Olives are the funny.
(SCREAMING)
Rest. Relax. Day off.
No Titans.
Meeting adjourned.
(CRASHING)
Hey, See-More!
I didn't know you were
an artiste.
All right! Not bad.
(GROANING)
Hmm, you made this weirdo
look good.
-(SCREAMING)
-Now, draw me.
(SPLASHING)
(GROANING)
But can you do me a solid
and give me a discount?
Just kidding, dude.
No, but really,
I only have five bucks on me.
What is that? A circle?
That's easy,
anyone can draw a circle.
How about like this?
Ahh!
So, what you got now?
Hmm... Mmm.
Not bad, but how about
one of those funny,
tiny bodies?
Yeah.
Ooh. Tinier.
Funnier.
Give me more muscle.
Oh! Make me holding Jinx.
Yeah, yeah,
but give me more muscles.
Yeah.
Ah! Make me surfing.
But, like, on a shark.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Make the shark Beastie!
Hair! Give me cool hair!
Give me more muscle.
A shark. Beastie. Jinx.
(SCRIBBLING)
What?
That doesn't look
anything like me.
Mmm-mmm.
This guy's a terrible artist.
-(GASPING)
-Move it along.
Don't waste your money.
Curse you, Cyborg!
(MEOWING)
-(GROANING)
-Ahhh!
-(CAR TIRES SCREECHING)
-(CRASHING)
(SCREAMING)
-(MEOWING)
-You and I
have a lot in common.
-We're sleek, we're cuddly.
-(PURRING)
And best of all,
we're bad luck.
-(MEOWING)
-Come on.
Let's have some fun.
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
(SCREAMING)
(MEOWING)
-(CHUCKLING)
-(MEOWING)
Jinx, are you
currently engaging
in the criminal misdeeds?
Are you planning the heist?
Are you walking the jay?
Answer me.
Do not engage.
Ooh, kitty!
-(PURRING)
-Ooh.
Hey! That's not your cat!
Oh, is she the yours?
She's an alley cat.
No one owns her.
I see. In that case,
we will act in accordance
with the Law of Felines
and let the kitty decide
who she will play with.
-(MEOWING)
-BOTH: Here, kitty!
-Kitty, here. Come here!
-Come to Starfire, kitty.
-Come Here! Come here!
-Come to Starfire, Kitty.
-Come here! Come here!
-Kitty!
Joy!
♪ Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty
time, time
♪ Oh, the kitty, kitty time
Meow, meow, meow ♪
Oh, how I love the kitties!
Well, I hate you,
and I hate the Titans.
Meow!
(GROANING)
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(LAUGHING)
You call that dancing, bro?
Watch this!
MAN: ♪ One, two, three,
hit me! ♪
-CROWD: Whoa!
-(GRUNTING)
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-(MUSIC STOPS)
-(PANTING)
(APPLAUDING)
Beast Boy.
Anyone up for a little game?
ALL: Yes, sir. I could play.
Let's pick teams.
Only if I can pick first.
Ooh, this is tough.
-I'll take Billy.
-Yee-haw!
Hey, I was gonna pick Billy.
-I'll take Billy.
-Whoo!
-I'll take Billy.
I'll take Billy.
Man, why am I
always picked last?
Looks like it's gonna be
a bea-utiful day
for a ball game.
Peanuts! Get your peanuts!
Hot dogs! Hot dogs here!
Stee-rike three! You're out!
Out? How was that a stee-rike?
He missed by a mile.
Are you blind?
I've had enough.
You are out of here!
ALL: Boo!
BILLY: (ON PA)
Here's the wind up
and the pitch.
Back, back, back, back, back.
And it's gone!
Home run!
ALL: Whoo!
Ow!
(GRUMBLING)
(GROWLING)
(SCREECHING)
You have disturbed
my afternoon reading,
and now you shall pay!
(SCREAMING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
Man, the Titans
ruin everything.
Today, Gizmo, we walk tall.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ Let's do it again ♪
(SCREAMING)
Gizmo, I know it's you.
Ah, no, man.
I don't know any Gizmos.
(SCRAPING)
You can't fool me,
you little miscreant.
It's not what you think.
(ROARING)
Ow! (GRUNTING)
-(GRUNTING)
-(STRUGGLING)
It's my day off!
Ow! I just wanted to
have a good time.
And be tall!
Oh. Very well.
Titans!
GIZMO: So, is everyone
rested and relaxed?
(ALL GROANING)
Good, because I have
a new plan.
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-One sec.
Yes, hello. Is Cole there?
Yeah, uh, Cole.
Last name... (GIGGLING)
Last name, Cuts.
-(LAUGHING) Cold cuts!
-(GROANING)
(LAUGHING) Like lunch meat!
(CYBORG LAUGHING)